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Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies

Zach Heltzel

The complete oral history of Disney Channel Original Movies (DCOMs) from A to Zenon! Hosted weekly by Zach Heltzel.

Archived from iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zetus-lapodcast-complete-oral-history-disney-channel/id1010010090. Items in this collection are restricted.

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Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 12, 2018 Zach Heltzel
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Hello supernova girls! Zach had a full mental breakdown from watching too many Disney Channel movies - they have broken him. So while he builds his strength back up to finish covering the entire DCOM canon, head on over to his new podcast with cohost Grant Pardee named NORMAL COUNTRY. It is a 30,000 foot view of what's happening in a nation that definitely isn't going through something weird right now. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 24, 2018 Zach Heltzel
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Join Zach and his new friend Kate, host of the podcast Defrauded, as they go deep down the interdimensional wormhole in the ocean that seems to exist to connect the real world to a cosmic prison trapping a bunch of hunky teens in a 1960s beach movie. You can find DEFRAUDED here: https://player.fm/series/defrauded
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 17, 2018 Zach Heltzel
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Horror writer and filmmaker Adrian Martel joins us to talk DESCENDANTS 2, letting Beto O'Rourke bust our windpipes, and the blanket I got from my current / his old employer.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 3, 2018 Zach Heltzel
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We are joined by a pair of DCOM superfans this week who found my personal email address and used it to guilt trip me into bringing the podcast back. At two points, my phone goes off and you can faintly hear Carly Rae Jepsen scream "Oh yeah! A sword!"
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 27, 2018 Zach Heltzel
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After a nine-month hiatus so Zach could pursue his dream of s-ing his own D and dying, Zetus Lapodcast is back with a brand new episode! We are joined this week by Sam Herbst, host of THE KIDMANIFESTO, to talk about "Freaky Friday," the musical re-remake of the Jodie Foster/Gaby Hoffmann/Lindsay Lohan movies of the same name. This movie has everything! In true DCOM fashion, this movie doesn't shy away from musical numbers about uptight housewives wanting to have intercourse with...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Dec 4, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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We were almost joined by #nofilter host Zack Peter this week. In fact, we spent over an hour talking with him about The Grove, Ren Stevens's life as a wife and mother, the geographic eccentricities of Los Angeles, and a whole lot more! However, the recording software went haywire and almost the entire episode was lost, so instead of delaying a week and re-recording, I decided to improvise because I'm too emotionally fraught right now to even spend another moment thinking about this lousy...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 27, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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New York Observer writer and condo owner Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) joins us to talk Avalon High, a movie where the #Girlboss is also King Arthur which, like, gives her tangible political power like being the President of the United States despite being a teenager in, like, I guess, San Diego?
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 20, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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What's Up Movie Surfers? cohost Mallory Mann returns to talk about THE SUITE LIFE MOVIE, cruising into Target and then cruising in Target, as it is the best place to find a hot date. We also definitely don't talk about what happens when a pack of dolphins kidnap people and take them into a cave. We've talked about it on the podcast before and there is no reason to talk about it again!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 13, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Two and a half years after we sat down with him to talk about Under Wraps in Arizona, Ethan Mitchell joins us again in California to talk about MINUTEMEN, a fun but intensely problematic journey through time and space.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 30, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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2-time Emmy award winner (okay, they're Daytime Emmys) Jamie McCarty invited me over to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, identify Canadian landmarks and discuss the concept of a "murder twink."
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 23, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Kelly Ryan (@KayArePea) joins us to talk Dadnapped, Mike Pence's 1999 review of Mulan, whether or not Elijah Daniel takes our calls anymore, and more! This episode is brought to you by Sudio! Sudio wants to revolutionize the way you think about headphones. Use the promo code ZETUS at checkout for 15% off! Our podcast sounds better coming through these headphones than the ones you're currently wearing. Trust us. sudiosweden.com.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 16, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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We're joined this week by Ashlee, a DCOM superfan who cares about these movies even more than I do! She joins me to talk about FRENEMIES, a strange anthology movie that asks and answers the question: are dogs smarter than people? Yes. Obviously. Follow her on Twitter @nogitsexi or find her on Tumblr, if you're into that!
Unverified Twitter user / "Gilmore Girls" actor Jason Pickar comes back to the show to talk about Phineas and Ferb! He knows all about this show, I know very little, and together we meld minds to get to the bottom of this wacky interdimensional action comedy about growing up and having a fun summer! Follow me @zachheltzel and the show at @zetuslapodcast. Jason Pickar can be found at @jasonpickar on everything and he will be performing at Oh My Ribs in Los Angeles on October 12th! Go...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 2, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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We're joined this week by multi-hyphen extraordinaire Brock Wilbur, the only person on the planet to understand every single crazy deep cut reference Zach makes in what can only be described as an endurance test for only the most dedicated listener of this podcast. At some points, we vaguely discuss Wizards of Waverly Place. Vaguely. Pre-order Brock's book here: https://bossfightbooks.com/collections/books/products/postal-by-brock-wilbur-nathan-rabin. It's very good.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 25, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Sara DeNatalie joins us the fourth time (!!!) to talk about Princess Protection Program, one of the wackiest and most fun DCOMs to date. No, seriously! It's really fun! Zach also has opinions about mother!. Oh boy does he have opinions about mother!.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 18, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Dani Fernandez (@msdaniferndandez) joins us to talk about CAMP ROCK 2: THE FINAL JAM, The Jepsen Pattern, the differences between A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie, what the teens are up to these days, and more!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 11, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Raven Symone decided she didn't want to be in the third and final Cheetah Girls movie, but our guest this week, Mel Layesen, is more than able to fill the void. We talk about Bollywood, Goop, and all the things this India-set-but-clearly-shot-in-Burbank whimper reminded us about. We also bid "Daddy" goodbye, until I forget and bring it back again next week.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 28, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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IMDWeed host Kelly McInerney is on the pod to discuss HARRIET THE SPY: BLOG WARS. As a Harriet the Spy expert, she breaks down the similarities and differences between the legendary 1990s depiction and this one. Spoiler: Nickelodeon did it better.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 21, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Kristin Clifford stops by to talk about "16 Wishes," a baffling labyrinth of weird plotting and time travel mechanics that would make Shane Carruth go *extremely Home Improvement voice* huhwhaaaaaaaaa
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 14, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Matt D'Ambrosio stops by this week to talk about DEN BROTHER, a movie that is a direct mashup of TROOP BEVERLY HILLS and MRS. DOUBTFIRE if both of those movies were 100x less good.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 9, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Hana Michels (The Hard Times, The Devastator) returns to the pod to discuss HATCHING PETE starring Jason Dolley and Mitchel Musso, a movie about having allergies and dressing up like a chicken. No, really. These movies truly feel like a parody of themselves at this point.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 31, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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King of fancy brunches and branded content Evan DeSimone stops by to talk about "The Hannah Montana Movie" starring Miley Cyrus and for some reason Margo Martindale, as well as a streaming service that if we mentioned it by name, a bot posing as a member of their PR team would send us an email.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 24, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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A gaggle of my favorite high school friends visited my apartment in sunny California in their swim trunks and flippy floppies to talk TEEN BEACH MOVIE, growing up in Glendale, body image issues, and the unique joy of drinking a strawberrita in a pool.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 17, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Writer Lora Thompson comes back to talk about THE CHEETAH GIRLS 2, the love of Tom Cruise's life, and all the celebrities we lost in the great cull of 2015. 
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 12, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Reigning queen of all media Sara DeNatalie (@saramallen) is back to talk about the sequel to Twitches...well, almost. We don't talk about it at all. It's the biggest nothingburger of a movie of all time. We mostly just talk about how she's in Scranton right now and she needs to feel God in a Chili's tonight. Support her Gofundme so she can feel God in that Chili's. https://www.gofundme.com/i-wanna-feel-god-in-that-chilis
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 3, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Award-losing  third place winning producer of children's content Jared Cohen comes on the pod to discuss the Johnny Tsunami sequel that taught us all the meaning of the phrase "be careful what you wish for," Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board. More like Back on *BORED* am I right? High five!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 28, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Just like that, we're already to the second of 4 (5?) High School Musical films! I really liked it! I know, right? When does that happen? My guest, Hyper RPG's @DrunklyRomantic, is not a huge fan. We spend more time talking about my move to LA this week, Twin Peaks and whether or not I should ditch this podcast in order to talk to my mom more.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 21, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Kelly Ryan (@KayArePea) comes back to the pod to talk about JUMP IN!, Corbin Bleu's beautiful hair, Daddy's secret sauce and how a North Carolina Mexican food restaurant's kids menu hot dog sent her to the hospital for two days.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 12, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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What happens when Demi Lovato and the Jonas Brothers go to a summer camp for the rich and horny? My college pals and scene queens Dani and Sara join me in an extremely echo-y apartment to talk about CAMP ROCK, being MySpace famous and the meaning of the word "babussy." This is the kind of episode I'm going to get angry emails about, so before you click "send," I apologize in advance for being such a crummy white boy.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 5, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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The co-host of What's Up Movie Surfers? and my cousin's sister (it's a whole complicated thing) Mallory Michelle stops by to talk about RETURN TO HALLOWEENTOWN, the kinks we definitely don't have and whether or not Sara Paxton is the Great Value brand Marnie Cromwell. While on hiatus, we finally figured out audio engineering!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
May 8, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Zach's good pal Shelby returns to talk about the dawn of a new era in Disney Channel Original Movies - Kenny Ortega's HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. This episode is very uncomfortable because you can feel a mental breakdown coming at any moment and there was absolutely no motivation to edit out any of the shrieking loud cries for help. Everything's fine!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
May 1, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Queen of Broadway and soon to be all media Sara DeNatalie stops by to talk about TWITCHES, amazingly thoughtful birthday gifts, Duane Reade, the new film THE CIRCLE, drunk Shakespeare and MORE!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Apr 24, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) returns to talk about STUCK IN THE SUBURBS, the decision to prioritize single-payer healthcare over second-tier soda pop, and the technological capabilities of pre-iPhone smartphones.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Apr 17, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Best of Friends host Jamie Woodham returns to talk ZENON: THE ZEQUEL and give Big Brother at Disney Channel several ideas for where they can take the franchise from here. Come back in a year and a half to hear us talk about Z-3PO, which Jamie insists ZENON: Z3 should have been called.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Apr 9, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Author of RE. THE WASPS (https://www.amazon.com/re-wasps-John-Jack-OBrien-ebook/dp/B06XZYQ3LN) Jack O'Brien comes on the pod to discuss Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior. This was recorded one day before Zach began having an existential crisis and nearly deleted the podcast in its entirety, but didn't because he feels obligated to selling Jack's book!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Mar 28, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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FemFM host Kiki Hackett joins us to talk Now You See It, magic, intersectional feminism, and of course, it would not be an episode of Zetus Lapodcast if Zach weren't forced to get off his white boy s**t. But seriously, everybody. You are entirely within your bounds to call out how I revel in my immature readings of things that aren't actually suggestive in nature, but go look on the @ZETUSLAPODCAST Twitter at that picture. LOOK AT IT.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Mar 21, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Drew Mixon returns to discuss The Proud Family Movie, Zach is a messy bitch when it comes to discussing race and there's a huge ten minute chunk of the podcast missing where Zach unloads on a celebrity who was mean to him once, only to find out they're actually a very nice person.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Mar 13, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Kelly Ryan got drunk and ate an entire sheet cake to prepare for our discussion about READ IT AND WEEP, a movie about everything I dream each time I send an intentionally provocative tweet. I was very tired when we recorded this because I'm a giant baby who goes to bed at 9 pm on weeknights.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Mar 6, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Michael Foss joins us this week to discuss COW BELLES, drunkenly explaining to President Barack Obama the plot of Elijah Daniel's "Trump Temptations: The Billionaire and the Bellboy," what it's like to be friends with that dude from Something Corporate, and the scariest teenage girl ever committed to film.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Feb 27, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Artist / co-writer of AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT THESE MONSTERS Danny Lacy joins us to talk about Life Is Ruff, a movie about child sociopaths to exploit and abuse an adorable dog that is constantly referred to as being some kind of scruffy mongrel. Pre-order Danny's book, which he made with friend of the pod Michael Levine: https://www.amazon.com/Least-Youre-Not-These-Monsters/dp/1942099223. It comes out March 14 and it's really good!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Feb 21, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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While Zach continues to binge DCOMs like some sort of crazy person, he also is catching as many new theatrical releases as he possibly can. With 2016 now solidly in the can, New York Observer writer Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) joins him to talk about the year's best films and performances, but not before deciding which classic DCOM he will cover in a future episode! Buy his poster for THE VVITCH on a throw pillow! https://society6.com/nickbossross
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Feb 13, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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A while back, writer BJ Colangelo wrote an awesome, in-depth evaluation of how Disney Channel Original Movies explore the horror genre in a piece for Blumhouse. So of course, we bring her on to talk about PIXEL PERFECT, a movie that is not in any way, shape or form a horror movie, but it might as well be!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Feb 6, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Film critic and journalist Kristen Lopez joins us to talk about SUSIE Q, a movie I really don't like but you all got really bent out of shape when I took down our episode about it. In response, I bring you our longest, most in-depth episode yet! Sam Esmail clearly stole everything from this movie that he didn't get from Fight Club when he made Mr. Robot.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jan 30, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Kristin Clifford joins a flu-ridden Daddy to talk about Go Figure, a movie with infinitely too many mentions of Vladimir Putin and moderate conservatism.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jan 23, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Generation Animation's Tyler Moliterno comes back to talk BUFFALO DREAMS, one of the weirdest quilt of DCOM staple tropes we've discussed so far. That's not to say it's bad, because we actually had a good time with it. Surprising, right?!?!?!? Zach, having a good time in what is now officially Trump's America? What is this nonsense?
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jan 17, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Kevin Fenderson didn't even bother to watch the movie, but he and I finally mustered the courage to mourn the loss of Debbie Reynolds, who is dynamite in HALLOWEENTOWN HIGH. This movie is naughty, but not as naughty as what Donald Trump did to Barack and Michelle Obama's bed!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jan 9, 2017 Zach Heltzel
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Stuneybear returns to talk Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama, which is so short and light on plot that we basically just talk about movies in the chase for Oscar,  how the Amy Adams scenes in Nocturnal Animals are crazy town banana pants and the things we want to leave behind in 2016.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Dec 27, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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While Zetus Lapodcast is vehemently anti-marriage, we welcome our married friends in town from South Carolina, Ken and Melody Wenzel, to talk Tiger Cruise, Disney Channel's attempt at making a movie about the September 11th terrorist attacks that can only be described as "wacky," and recap how 2016 is bad, bad and not good. This movie has terrible, unnecessary green screen shots and Bill Pullman!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Dec 19, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian/cronut enthusiast Jason Pickar joins us this week to give us an education on Judaism, hip-hop and being interviewed by the world's worst journalist Rory Gilmore in GILMORE GIRLS: A YEAR IN THE LIFE, while we talk about FULL COURT MIRACLE, a bizarre but ultimately satisfying entry into DCOM sports canon.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Dec 12, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Trejon Dunkley (@avioletchild) joins us to talk The Even Stevens Movie, gay experiences while listening to Jagged Little Pill and why every "teenager" in this movie is a hunky twentysomething with the sole thematic purpose of kickstarting as many millennial puberties as possible.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 28, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Drew Mixon returns to the program to talk about Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off, the Donald Trump of Disney Channel Original Movies.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 21, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Rachel Leishman joins us to talk about our impending doom, sitting on the same toilet as comedy royalty and the sheer insanity of THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Nov 7, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Just in time for Halloween (plus one week) is our Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge episode, now with 85% less mentions of fornicating with my uncle!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 31, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Kevin Fenderson comes back to the show to talk on our first episode about a movie that is unmistakably not a Disney Channel Original. Hocus Pocus was a 1993 theatrical release that people kept asking us to do, so we did it, just in time for a spoopy Halloween night! I do mention near the end of this episode that we would also be putting up a Halloweentown 2 episode. Sadly, in a strange twist that has never happened before, I was able to record my guest's audio but not my own. Any time we've had...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 17, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Courtney Soliday (The Huffington Post, BUILDseries) lets us borrow some spit which we promise to pay back and talks about CADET KELLY, the Hilary Duff / Christy Carlson Romano sassfest where a human gel pen is forced into attending military school for no real good reason. We don't go off topic this week! Like, at all!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Oct 10, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Gabe Bergado (Inverse, The Daily Dot) stops by to talk about QUINTS, a movie I hate so much that the act of having to watch it twice and then talk about it made me tell my mother that I wanted to slit my wrists and look her in the eye as I did it. Somebody tell me everything is going to be okay.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 26, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Andy Ward goes kaching kaching bling bling bling all over this episode about THE CHEETAH GIRLS, a movie where we are expected to accept Raven Symone as a pop diva and the entire third act of this movie is a shot for shot replica of 127 HOURS with a dog. Kill me.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 19, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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My bestest friend in the whole wide world...okay, that's not true, but she's definitely in the top five of people I only know through Twitter...but I digress, anywa, Sara DeNatalie joins us this week to talk about RIGHT ON TRACK. If you can't handle me at my Beverley Mitchell, you don't deserve me at my Brie Larson.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 12, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Guess who's back? Back again. Justine Smith's back. Tell a friend. Did you know they made a sequel to HORSE SENSE? Because they did. Why it involves all three Lawrence brothers getting shipwrecked and running from pirates who want to kidnap them and hold them for ransom, I have no idea. We don't really get down to the bottom of that answer either.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Sep 5, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Chad Reid returns to discuss GOING TO THE MAT, a movie where Andy Lawrence plays a hunky blind wrestler who is also really good at playing the drums and being a huge jerk to everyone he meets. Wayne Brady is in it too, also playing a blind man!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 29, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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HyperRPG / Drunkly Romantic's Markus Maes joins us to talk YOU WISH!, a who's who of early 2000s Disney stars who quietly disappeared into thin air. We get deep in the weeds of Spencer Breslin's amazing Twitter account, the importance of good hair and we make the case for why Markiplier is the Pepsi to Markus's Coke.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 22, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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MOVIE MOTORBREATH editor Salim Garami joins us to talk 'TWAS THE NIGHT, a banal Christmas movie made especially notable because it stars Bryan Friggin' Cranston, channeling his inner-Walter White years before his Emmy winning turn on Breaking Bad. By that, I mean he spends most of the movie screaming about money and business. The kid from Sex Drive is also in this movie. There's not really much else notable to say, so we talked about other stuff (chocolate sauce and orange marmalade, Michael...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 15, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Actual scientist and Mom against anime Brian Nadon talks to us about dolphins, Madeline L'Engle's fundamental misunderstandings of science and religion, and Jared Padalecki being cuckolded as demonstrated in the film A RING OF ENDLESS LIGHT, where The OC's Mischa Barton talks to dolphins and has dreams of being a mermaid. Every single character in this movie is either going to an Ivy League school or MIT, which is bonkers since they're all dumb dumb dumbies.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 8, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Gilmore Guys co-host / Daddy Kevin T. Porter joins us this week to talk THE LUCK OF THE IRISH, a movie you remember very fondly and probably, definitely shouldn't! This conversation breaks down very quickly and I am INTO IT.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Aug 1, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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#NoFilter host Zack Peter joins us this week to discuss KIM POSSIBLE: A SITCH IN TIME, what it's like to be an LA native, moon dust and debate the merits of GMOs and vegan cheese!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 18, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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STILL DREAMIN's Drew Mixon joins us to talk about TRU CONFESSIONS, the most vile, repugnant, low-key racist movie we've covered on this podcast so far. We use this time mostly to discuss Shelly Miscavige, TV shows Drew should watch and whether or not a scene where a black teenager begs for fried chicken being immediately juxtaposed with Shia Labeouf drilling into a watermelon is considered a cinematic hate crime.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 11, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Fan favorite Michael Varrati (A CHRISTMAS REUNION, FLESH FOR THE INFERNO, A BILLION OTHER GOSH DARN THINGS) returns to discuss THE SCREAM TEAM, a genuinely delightful and technically magnificent entry into the DCOM Halloween canon. Not an ounce of snark this week, as both he and I were charmed by its performances, impressed by the economy of its storytelling and blown away by the impeccable art direction, costume and prop work. Eric Idle is in this movie! Michael has a lot going on right now,...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jul 5, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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OH, THE FLESH YOU WILL EAT! and ALL THE FEELINGS author Michael Levine (@bizmichael) joins us to drink laundry detergent and talk about THE JENNIE PROJECT, a largely-forgotten Disney Channel Original Movie from the writer of THE RELIC about an adorable chimpanzee who is put on trial in a human courtroom for committing mail fraud. This episode is shorter than normal because Michael had a lot to say about [redacted] and publishing it would have got both him and I killed. Buy his new book ALL THE...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 27, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Comedian Hana Michels ("Free Therapy," VICE, Paste, Croptop), a very Jewish person, is here to discuss a terrorism thriller disguised as a family Christmas movie! In a movie where a Furby can cause apocalyptic weather scenarios, the most bizarre thing that happens is we are expected to believe there are wooded areas and ranch-style McMansions in downtown Los Angeles. It's weird.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 19, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Alex Rheault, under the alias zoogtube on Twitter, is the world's foremost leading authority on Disney Channel Original Movie memes. He joins us this week to talk about Jett Jackson: The Movie, a movie I didn't remember all that fondly and was shocked to find IS MINDBLOWINGLY CRAZY AND AWESOME. As a result, we talk about it a lot for a very, very long time. Trigger warning: we talk about the mass shooting in Orlando for longer than a little bit and we touch on the elephant in the room when...
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 13, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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You loved the last time we made you suffer through (mostly erotic) fanfiction written by fans of Disney Channel Original Movies, so we're giving you a second helping of that sweet sweet teen character cool sex having written by enthusiastic teenagers in the early 2000s and immortalized online!
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
Jun 6, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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Ben Siemon (UCB, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Brunch) took a small break from photoshopping himself into Gilmore Girls stills to talk to us about Life-Size, the Tyra Banks/Lindsay Lohan entry into a storied tradition of completely bonkers fantasy films in the Disney television canon.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
May 23, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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This week we are joined by an actual baby.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
May 17, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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This week, we have returning guests because the name of this movie is DOUBLE TEAMED and they wanted to double team me. See what we did there? Yeah.
Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History of Disney Channel Original Movies
May 9, 2016 Zach Heltzel
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A guy I know named Nathan has been hounding me to be on this podcast for months, so I gave him the movie HOUNDED because it was a good opportunity for wordplay. This episode is in very poor taste and you're welcome for finally getting down to the bottom of how you pronounce Nathan's last name.